Common Issues Same Sex Parents Face
There comes a point in every relationship where the couple has to discuss if they want children. This is also true for gay and lesbian couples. They need to have a serious discussion if they want children and if they are going to adopt or have one parent become the biological parent of the child. If this is not a hard enough decision the couple has to be prepared with people that will not accept their relationship or their child.
Gay and lesbian parents can be good parents and love their child just as much as other heterosexual couples. There are some tips to help same sex couples deal with the challenges of parenting and helping their child become well adjusted and well loved.
As the child grows up they are going to have questions. They may want to know why they have two moms or two dads. The parents need to be honest with the child and tell them as soon as they are able to understand. The age is going to vary based on how the child matures but once they start asking questions the parents should provide some answers. Children today are more accepting of the choices that their parents make and this should not be an issue as long as they are well loved.
They key to having a good relationship to a parent is to be close to the children and be honest with them. A couple can do this by engaging in family activities and spending time with their children. It does not matter if people stare. A close family will be able to open up to each other. If the kids are having any issues they are more likely to tell their parents even if they are a same sex couple. It is best to start doing things as a family at a young age.
Be sure that the child feels loved. They child may hear negative things in the world about their same sex parents. This is especially true when the child starts school. Even at a young age they may hear negative things about their parents. A couple should explain that being homosexual does not make them different then other people. They cannot choose who they love. They should explain that this does not mean they will love their child any less than other familiar. The parent should explain just because they are in a relationship with a member of the same sex does not mean they do not love their child or each other. They can still be happy family but they are a special type of family.
At one point or another there is going to be someone out there that will give the child a hard time because they have gay parent. The parents need to know that at one point there will be people that their child comes in contact with that are not going to be accepting or open minded. They should prepare the child for this. They should also develop a close relationship with the child. This way the child can confide in them if they are being bullied or if anyone is giving them a hard time about their parents.
Gay or lesbian parents need to know that at one time their child may have a hard time. They should know the resources where they can find help for their child. The child may need someone to help build up their self confidence. There are a number of counseling services as well as support groups that can help the parents out.
A couple needs to be upfront with the child about how they became a family. If one parent is the birth parent they should tell the child this. If the child is adopted they also need to know this. This is never an easy conversation for any parent to have. If the family is open and discuss these issues then there are no surprises as the child gets older. There are a number of resources to help these parents have the conversation and make things as easily as possible for the child.
Researcher had several interviews with children of homosexual couples showed they were no different than other children with heterosexual parents. The children felt loved, were just as intelligent, and reported they were happy. These children have the same success and struggles as any other children. Children of homosexual couple were shown to be more open minded and accepting of those that were considered to be different. So far studies have shown that there is no impact on the child for having same sex parents.
These are just some of the challenges that gay and lesbian parents may face. They may love their child and provide a stable home. Their lifestyle may being the child some unwanted attention and the parents should be prepared to handle this. If the child is brought up in a household of love and trust the orientation of their parents will not matter and the child will be an open minded and well adjusted individual.